All in the mind? How powerful is positive thinking?

When you go to a garden,
do you look at thorns or flowers?
Spend more time with roses and jasmine.
Rumi

Cognitive behaviour therapy would have us believe that many of our emotional and behavioural difficulties are the result of faulty thinking - How we think affects how we feel and how we act and so it continues in a feedback loop which often produces unhelpful and self-perpetuating patterns of thinking, feeling and acting. According to this theory we can choose how we think and so take control of our emotions and actions.

CBT encourages an action oriented experimental approach to dealing with distress and stress. It is a psycho-educational mode which encourages active and collaborative learning.

Recent developments link Mindfulness approaches with CBT suggesting an attitude of loving kindness towards one's wayward contrary thoughts. Mindfulness research suggests that the act of observing or bearing witness to painful thoughts and attending to them in a non-judgemental way can be enought to engender change.

Neuroscience and infant development research show how the presence or absence of attention and affection can impede or encourage the growth of brain neurons. We thrive when we are cared for, babies who are neglected will 'fail to thrive' even if their purely physiological needs are met - studies have shown that infant primates will chose affection before food as a neccessity for survival. The feeling of being loved and attended to is healing in ways we are only beginning to understand. These are two of the core conditions of person centred therapy - empathy and non-judgmental listening

. If we can adopt an attitude of kindness, openness and curiosity towards our emotions then we can begin to relate to them. The relationship is the healing - with others and with ourselves.

So can changing the mental messages and switching 'channels' make a positive difference?

All we need is love?

Mindfulness approaches advocate an attitude of gentle acceptance and loving kindness towards our own thoughts and feelings as the way to change.

The paradox -- when we cease striving to change ourselves for what we belive is the better then we become what we truly are. Hopefully this is a good thing!

The theory is that much of our distress rises out of a sense of our wrongness and running away from discomfort - if we can sit with our feelings and thoughts and listen to ourselves then we can become our own wisest counsellors and loving parents. If we can stop beating ourselves up over what is wrong with us then we can release energy to focus on what is right. Freud spoke about the way in which unconscious conflicts use up energy and demand to be attended to.

Much psychic energy goes into defending ourselves against our sense of wrongness and may result in somatic signs of distress.

As usual the stuff we always knew like 'we flourish when we are loved and attended to' is now being proved by science and validated by research. Doh !

For a great introduction to the importance of early childhood relationships and the impact of 'love' or its absence on our brain development and capacity to love others and ourselves read "Why Love Matters" by Judith Gerhard. Fairly up to the minute neuroscience and common sense written by a psychotherapist and parent.

Advocates of this approach include Jon Kabat Zinn whom you can see on google lectures on youtube

Reading List
"A mindful Approach to Depresssion" - this comes with an excellent cd of relaxation exercises
"A Path with Heart" -- -Jack Kornfield

"Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert - this is enjoyable and easy to read unless you just find yourself hating the author - which is fine! Here she is -

Creative visualization - A holiday in your head!

The imagination, the one reality in this imagined world.

Wallace Stevens

Sometimes what feels like a constant barrage of negative images and information can leave us feeling under siege. It may feel as if our brains are permanently tuned into a negative news channel. We can feel the physical effects of this in our muscles and in our gut. If we pay attention to our bodies we can notice how we automatically tense and steel ourselves when we take in bad news. It is clear to all of us that our thoughts can evoke a strong, often automatic physical response. We can feel disgusted or 'hot and bothered' or just 'hot' depending on the stimuli.
As humans our imagination - our ability to conjure up images and scenarios, is a pretty amazing tool. We can use it to feel good as well as bad.
Visualisations are a way to evoke a relaxation and feel good response at will. It's easy. All you have to do is choose a safe and inspiring image of a place or setting that has positive connections for you. It doesn't have to be a real place but it probably helps if it is as you will be more readily able to summon it up if you feel you know it.

NB. Some of these exercises which encourage 'going within' may not be suitable for people who are feeling particulary fragile or who may be depressed or suffering from trauma as they might lead to a release of tension or a disconect with reality that could be overwhelming. Trust your own sense of what is good for you.

• Find a quiet moment and place, even if it just means zoning out for a few moments at your desk or in the bathroom between appointments. I find it works! Take a mini holiday in your head! Close your eyes and picture your happy or positive place.
• Picture yourself going there - maybe opening a gate or walking up an avenue.
• Try to keep other people at a distance in your imagined place this is your chance to just relax and take 'me time'.
• Picture yourself at rest in this place.
• Perhaps lying on a beach or in a garden hammock.
• Allow yourself to be there and to gently notice what is around you.
• Notice what you can smell or hear in the distance
• feel the sensation of the warm air on your skin
• notice how your mouth tastes and what you can feel beneath you
• allow yourself to relax and breathe in and out gently
• don't worry if you find your attention straying, that is normal
• just gently bring your mind back to your happy place
• when you are ready, decide that it is time to return to the present
• mentally begin to leave
• imagine yourself walking back out the gate or up the path
• gently come back to your present reality and notice how you feel refreshed and restored.
• take time during your day to check back in to your relaxing place.
  

Which Guru?

So many experts so little time!

Jon Kabat Zin talks about Mindfulness Meditation.

Better Ways